Monday, January 12, 2015


The Walking Route....

If the Circle Line is closed, we will have to walk the route. To be honest, this is the fun part of the day!  You get to see a lot more of London getting out there on the streets and for years we have had some amazing street parties and randomness happen out there.

Here it is! A map and toilet list for the day. Whew.We have to stress that with the several (several) thousand participants coming on the crawl - that this is a rough map of how to get about on the day! We have broken it up into stops and will also try and include toilets as well (We will add more details to it as we get closer to the date)

This map is useful to those who will be walking the route. If you are on the tubes, you will probably only need some of this map - however with tube overcrowding, (thanks to us!) there may be a need to walk a little. It's good for you and you'll see some cool parts of London too!

The Police are aware of this route and the areas around it, so if at any stage you get lost or have any problems, find an officer or one of our lovely stewards!

All the times we  have mentioned are a rough guide according to Google. We know that these are wildly wrong as we will be getting our party on and enjoying the warmth of the pubs (and other people)....

Remember the drinking laws as well... We have covered the laws here

Pride of Paddington to Bayswater Arms

This is the traditional starting point for the pub crawls of recent history. The Pride of Paddington will be open nice and early for us. We meet here around 10am, have a feed, a breakfast pint or two and head along the street to the next stop... a gentle scenic walk to Bayswater. This is a 16 minute walk.
Most years Kiwis play cricket along the street at Bayswater, thanks to its not so busy main street and plenty of willing fielders... incl in the past the friendly police. 

TOILETS - just make sure if you do decide to break the seal, to do before you leave Paddington. otherwise hold on until Bayswater.
Bayswater to Notting Hill Gate (The Old Swan)
Notting Hill Gate where we will meet up with others who either start here or walk up from Shepherds Bush Walkabout. It will take around 12 minutes to get here. This area can be chaotic and a lot of fun. As the streets are more narrow and full of regular non drinking folk, please make sure every one of them gets the right of way and through the massive crowd that will be assembled here.  This is a good place to have a funnel! :)

TOILETS - I recommend using the toilets at the Old Swan just around the corner from the station. This area has a lot of bars and places like Mcdonalds - but some may not let us in to use their facilities. If can hold on or are not needing to go, there are a few more options in the next stage!

Notting Hill Gate to High Street Kensington
(The Prince of Wales)

 Click for bigger image

A nice straight line to The Prince Of Wales pub which is approx 10 mins walk, but lets be honest. This is going to take a bit longer as there are pubs along the way which may be open.  Most years they do open but we can't count on them.

In other years the very end of this street (where I have put a red cross) which is by a war memorial, gets really really busy.  Please DO NOT use this outside area to go to the toilet in. This area will have a few police around to keep us off the road as well.
TOILETS - Try all the pubs along this long street. Be polite too, as they might not be expecting us. The Prince of Wales will have toilets too, and as it's a 10 minute walk, try to hold it in until there. Where I have put a Green Spot is where there are more Public Toilets (20p) by Kensington Church Street Bus Shelter.
High Street Kensington to Gloucester Road (Stanhope Arms)
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We will be heading towards the Stanhope Arms This is potentially the longest stretch on the crawl, and this means a lot of us will be stretched out along the roads and we will be passing lots of shops, a few High Commissions, banks and this is where we get a lot of complaints about public pissing. The recommendation for this area is to NOT piss on any shops or houses. (be discreet) This is a tough part as toilets are just hard to find. Ladies, I cannot apologise too much for this inconvenience!) The Stanhope Arms are ready for us, as they are every year - so say hello to them!
TOILETS - There are pay toilets (20p) outside the station according to the local council. Good luck!

Gloucester Road to South Kensington  (Zetland Arms)
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A "mere seven minute" walk to the Zetland Arms ... but again we will be now quite well spaced out along the route. There will be toilets at the Hereford Arms, which are labelled here with a blue cross - just a little bit down Gloucester Road. Zetland Arms will also have toilets and will be rocking and ready for our arrival!

TOILETS - Easier said than done, but hopefully the 7 min trek will not be too painful for you all.

South Kensington to Sloane Square
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 This used to be the wastelands, where people used to skip due to a lack of a good pub in the area.
There still isn't a designated pub here as far as I know either so it's a free for all if you can find a decent one!   It's a 20 min walk between stations so plenty of time for trouble and mayhem. Try and not break any laws, at this stage we will be well refreshed and no doubt noisy! Just remember to NOT BE DICKS

TOILETS. There are pay toilets outside W H Smiths Junction with Sloane Gardens (20p)
Sloane Square to Victoria

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Another 17 minute walk and by now we are back into an area with more pubs. Our usual pub has been demolished so it's another free for all around here. The good news is having more pubs around here, we will have more toilets as well as Victoria station. Try to not scare the tourists coming out of Victoria :)

TOILETS - Try all the bars in the area and also the toilets at Victoria station. Try to hold on and don't piss on any shops or houses unless you want Dylan Clements taking a photo of you!

Victoria to St James Park (The Old Star)
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This is a 12 minute walk and we are almost nearing the last stage of the crawl, so I know lots of you will have your beer/wine coats on. We are going to the Old Star who are ready and waiting for us and with toilets! Be aware we will be passing council buildings on this leg, so try not to piss on any of their buildings.

There is a McDonalds along this route where you could try and use and little else. As this is the last big push before we get to Westminster, it might be ok to hold as there are toilets in Westminster and lots of pubs too.
St James Park to Westminster  (Haka zone)
The Haka will be in Broad Sanctuary

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Six minutes walk they say, I suspect much longer as we will be getting toilet breaks in and getting into the haka area, the map is below. There are a number of bars in this area - we usually choose the Red Lion but lets be honest, this area is going to be packed. If this is your first pub crawl, this area will really surprise you. If you are here early, find a pub and use their toilets and then get to the haka zone.

TOILETS - There may be some portaloos here for us. There are a few public toilets for tourists, but I recommend at this stage to find a pub, be nice and get it out of you there. Police are expecting some people to be urinating in public, but please do not piss on monuments or buildings of any type. Do whatever you can to look after yourself and others.

The Haka Zone

Click map for info

The only advice for you around this area is to keep an eye on each other. Only because there will be thousands of us and we will be pushing and trying to see the haka. Our words of advice is that try and not lose any of your belongings and also don't damage any property in this area - and of course, be good to tourists and the locals, including the police who will be watching this area.  Do not attempt to go onto Parliament Square, this will be fenced off.

As for the Haka - this is as unorganised as everything else on this crawl. Out of the all the crawls we have done, we have seen it 10 times and have been a particpant 4 of them. It is hard to know anything at this point as we're drunk, tired and plus nobody organises this publicly. If you are drunk we seriously would reconsider participating in the haka. Leave it for the experts or those who won't look dumb doing it.
The last think we want Kiwis back home to see on the news is a lot of drunk people doing this... the media will paint us badly, no matter how much you love NZ and our culture, so don't get tempted!

In this area it pays to get yourself to the front of the yard area, or if not, get to a point where you can watch it. If you miss out, don't stress. Get some photos of the event, thank the police for another awesome day out and get yourself out to an after party. (after parties will be advertised here on this blog and on the Facebook page)

Check out these links for toilets:

TFL Toilet Map! (pdf)
Kensington And Chelsea Toilet List

The route in all it's glory thanks to the genius of Google Maps

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